All You Need Is...

Today as I was going home from school, I passed a car that had a rose pinned under the windshield wipers.

There was also a note that read: "I ♥ You."

I smiled and said to Alex, "Oh look! How sweet..." but I think inside, it depressed me.

Blackbird, Fly.

I have been listening to nothing but the Beatles for the past few days.

Feels pretty good, might I say.

I am rather lonely, of course...

Am I a sick person? Are people usually this lonely?

I feel that if someone doesn't try to contact me once a day, well, maybe I'm dead to them.

I hope no one remembers to read these stupid blogs.

If someone were to, I'm sure he or she would just get annoyed with this blather.

It's like I'm not even thinking anymore... just... typing, whatever my fingers want to type.

And nothing is making sense.

Not even breathing...

---

Into the light of a dark black night.

---

And to be honest, when you told me you didn't love me anymore, a part of me died.

Walk Right Through Me...

I'm not sure how I came to be this way; boring, uneventful, tired.

I miss hanging out with people and staying up all night. When I had nothing to do but live and forget about awful things that wouldn't let me sleep. I don't know what to think of this feeling. Coming home every night, only to stare at a wall, or stare at the television, even though there are rarely any shows I like or want to watch.

I miss walking with Christina around downtown at night, just to see the stars and smell the salt in the air. I miss staying up with Nate until sunrise to watch seasons of old cartoons from when I was younger. I miss driving up and down the coast with Vanessa while we blasted Blaqk Audio or Panic! At the Disco. I miss driving with Aaron through that winding forest while listening to the Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack or Gazette. I miss staying up to talk to Art with a webcam. I miss going out to random places with Kyle, or even staying at home to watch something completely ridiculous, because he would always laugh at everything, no matter how crude or terrible the joke. I miss having picnics on the roof with Laura. I miss getting on the bus with Ed to go to the mall with our fortune of twenty dollars. I miss how Alex used to come to my work every day, it seemed, to make sure I was smiling... I miss having someone sleep at my place every night...

And to be honest, I feel that, if I were to just completely dissapear, it would take people weeks to notice I was gone. I guess I'm just lame, but... I can't help feeling this way.

At least I have my vicious chihuahua. :'(

Yeah.

...Bought a new phone cord for 25 freaking dollars, since my dog severed my old one.

But after it charged, I sat there and stared at it, the screen blank, the button flashing green, and a thought occurred...

Why do I even have a phone when people don't really talk to me?

...lame...